THE RETURN!

Hey whats good?? Its been forever since I wrote a blog LOL sooo here I am, writing a blog for the world to read. Im so excited about my future! I just got a new job at Best Buy and Im working super hard on my album Love Letters ;) Im so anxious to get it out there. Im tryna build my fanbase. Soon youll see me regularly on Youtube and Twitter. Ill post more details later. For now, I want you to check out my music @ www.SoundClick.com/ViNRawliMuzik and join the mailing list! Thanks a bunch :)

Swine Flu and other News

Hey...its been a while it seems. Im sick, been sick for a few days now...possibly swine flu, who knows lol Im also very hungry and it sucks...i should get up and literally make a midnite snack but I just dont feel like it.....ughhhhhh

This White Girl can SANG!

Before there was Fergie, there was PiNK. I love her music and I just heard this song for the first time tonite and it really touched my heart and soul. It sounds like one of them ol' skool Teena Marie flashbacks, another white girl that can blow. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did. I wanna make a song like this. It's called "Catch Me While I'm Sleeping" and its produced by Linda Perry.

M is for MISERY

I feel like crap...writing this through blurry teary eyes....have you ever felt like you lost EVERYTHING? Why do bad things happen to good people?!?! I just want my family back...I just want my Mommie back but she's gone! I lost my way...I dont know where Im going anymore...my dreams are shattered...my nightmares are deeper, darker, scarier....I wish God would just take me away and put me outta my misery....

Pressed

Gooood evening everyone! Just wanted to inform you that I am done recording another song =] It's called "Pressed" and it has a electronic/disco/funk vibe to it. I love it and I cant wait to RELEASE IT! First I gotta do the fine tuning and all the paper work. AND OF COURSE Im planning to put it up on iTunes! But this time around, I wanna release a "B-Side" with it...not really sure what song that will be at the moment lol Im sure Ill find something.

OH and another thing. Im planning to do a video to it as well ;) You'll see!

"Gone" or "Pressed"?

Should I release "Gone" or "Pressed"??? Im feeling both but they are like exact opposites. "Gone" is soooo sad and depressing, talking about losing a loved one and "Pressed" is more upbeat/club oriented, talking about being deeply 'in like' lol ughhhh

We will see....

Idk what to do bout you cause I feel lonely with out you....
And I aint got no doubt that you could be feelin the same way too....
*Pressed*

SUCCESS!

Come check the new layout! I call it, the LOVE HATE design...pretty cool huh? ;) Its like ViN and Terrence coexisting.

Just got back from seeing Wolverine with a friend. That movie was GREAT. Maybe it's cause I'm an X-Men FANATIC. THE GRAPHICS, the FIGHT SCENES, the CAMEOs from characters in the comics....nice...

Im tired now....constantly thinkin bout someone ;) Gotta hit the gym in the morning and get my sexy on. NITE NITE zzZ

New Layout

Im currently working on new layout for my blog. So right now its looking plain but its all goood

What to write about.....

Im so tired. I been out alllll day tryna take some pictures for class tomorrow. I went to Savannah earlier than normal. I wanted to go to Forsyth Park and take some nice pics but it didnt work out. SOOO I drove from Savannah to Hilton Head to go to the beach. Cant go wrong with the beach right? WRONG! LOL no parking :( I was pretty pissed....so I had to rush home and fet ready for class. I drove back to Savannah and picked up a friend at Arnold Hall. Then we went to the library to work on 'group projects' and stuff. Afterwards I went to McDonalds and was fat like bastard. Now Im at Sharif''s house and his mom just gave me chips LOL cool peoples......yeah....this random blog has been brought to you by Terrence McSnilwar.........

Renaissance Man of the 21st Century

I been thinkin a lot about what it is I wanna be, what I wanna become. But I wanna do SO MANY things. I wanna be a music producer. I wanna be a photographer. I wanna be an entrepreneur and own my own clothing line. I wanna share my music with the world. So many goals...sucha short life. But Im gonna do all of them. Im moving to NYC. Thats where its at for me. Entertainment capital of the world ya know ;) But thats after I graduate from SCAD. Gotta stick with it...itll pay off in the end!

If My Mind Was Hollywood, My Dreams Would Be Movies

If My Mind Was Hollywood, My Dreams Would Be Movies

What's gooooooooood? Ha, now that im thinkin bout it, I never really officially came back to the blog game did I? Oh well, Im back *breaks emergency glass and shoots confetti gun* LMAO

ANYWAYS on to my dreams, they was very....strange lol

Part One
I was the top spy/assassin for some underground organization. I almost want to say this dream was in Black & White but it wasnt. It was like....Black & Sepia LOL But yeah, me and my partner, this dude from SCAD, was on a mission. Ya know, driving supa dupa fast cars and wearing leather and stuff, if I wasnt into music ESPIONAGE would be my ish!

So we was on the free way chasing our target. IDK how many of you know what a spaghetti bowl is in terms of bridges and roads in a city, but we ended up in one of them. Some how we exited the freeway and ended up in this lot surrounded by four walls and four doors that lead to four elevators. Each elevator took us somewhere different but it the destination changed each time. Some how we figured out how to get to the top and BOOM! HEADSHOT! My partner almost got his head taken off but i tripped him, did a bullet time somersault, got out my piece and shot that nig right in his fo'head, blowing him out the top of the building (we later found him on top of a car, dead of course). That was recent, when I was 20. Now fast forward to the next half.......

Part Two
It is now like ten years later. I was back in 'town' but it wasnt Bluffton. It was like a cross between Bluffton and NYC but it wasnt quite Savannah lol So yeah, Im driving around in my Scooby Doo van with all my niccas and they tellin me Im getting married today. This came as a surprise, especially when they told me WHO lol it was one of our guy friends (I wont tell you who, its already kinda odd, in'it?)

So they told me I was getting married to him and I was like HUH? And I looked in my rearview mirror and saw him smiling at me and I remember this soo clearly, I kept thinking "Im gonna spend the rest of my life with *HIM*???" LMFAO it was so funny! Im gonna skip some of the details cause yeahhh....

Arrived at the cathedral, it had to be a million faceless bodies there. I was so nervous walkin down that aisle (it was like half a mile long).

Then I woke up...what can this mean? First Im killin niccas for money, utilizing my crazy driving skills....then Im marrying niccas in Notre Dame and all my peoples was there...hmmmmmmm

New Single: Gone

Whats gooooood? I gotta new single that I will be releasing VERY SOON! It's called Gone and I gotta say, it's hit material. Somethin you wouldnt even expect from ViN Rawli. It's rock, it's pop, it's hiphop, it's BLUES, it's everything to me and then...it could mean nothing to you. But the words, the melody, as I sang the bridge, my eyes filled with tears because....idk, I felt God move, HE gave me the words to say....*chills*

I just gotta fix the bass line. I kinda want a live bass guitar playing with it. Now THAT would be hot....all I need is a bassist.....LOL

Boom Boom...how you get so sex-cee?

I am so in lust right now its ridiculous! Hormones raging like Im a teenager again (hahaha im 20 snitches!) Lets see what happens with this one.....

Blame it on the LACK of parking

Im so mad. I didnt go to my photo class today. Now before you jump on me (like black people often do) let me explain. I did everything in my power to get there early, I really did. Left the house at 1pm, got there at 1:28. Okay cool...cause I ALREADY KNOW how bad the parking is at Bergen Hall. So Im driving around in circles for literally 45 minutes trying to get parking but NOTHING BECOMES AVAILABLE. At this point I give up because we have a strict attendance policy at SCAD. 15 minutes late = an absence and the 5th absence = failure of the class. Im so pissed off right now because its not my freaking fault that they spend all our money on imported fish! BUILD BETTER PARKING!! And they cant even throw the whole, be there extra early bullcrap on me because I WAS THERE 30+ minutes ahead of time!!

The DUMBEST Phrase EVER

Do you wanna know, in my opinion, the dumbest phrase ever? NO HOMO, omg that is so annoying seriously! Some of ya'll might have used it before and I aint got no problems with you. But just think about how stupid/ignorant that sounds. WHY THE HELL would you say something, knowing damn well it sounds kinda gay in the first place? Say wtf you mean and mean wtf you say. Seriously. I dont even know what the big deal is. I mean if you're straight, youre straight, and if youre gay, youre gay. You saying a few words, forming a sentence, wont change that. So wtf? Let's STOP the ignornace and hatred towards others. Hell, you dont hear gay folks walkin around saying NO HETERO! LMAO ok admit it, that one was kinda funny lol Spread the love yall!

So I've been thinking about doing an EP

HEY! Ive been thinking about doing an EP (Extended Play) project as a prequel to my LP (Long Play) Love Letters. EPs tend to have only like 3 to 5 songs but I'm thinking about doing 6 and releasing it on iTunes. THAT WAY I can give you guys a bigger taste of what Im capable of ;)

The EP is gonna be called Imminent Love Storm. Its the prequel to Love Letters. Im not sure when it will be released so STAY TUNED!

I found the LORD

SO I went to church yesterday and I had a very good experience. I feel changed, I feel good, not perfect but I feel like everything is gonna be ok. I actually shed a lil tears and it felt great, being able to express my emotions among people who love me. Everything is gonna be alright, and thanks Shannon, you're, its gonna take time. But God is able, I want yall to never ever EVER forget that! He is always there, give your problems to Him and trust and believe that he will bring you through the storm. AND DONT EVER GIVE UP! Think of it this way. If you give up while youre in the storm, youll stay in that storm. But if you keep moving forward with your eyes on God, eventually you'll make it out of the storm. So thats what I gotta do. Live each day and wait for this nightmare to come to an end. Peace.

Love is Evil

I cannot believe how stupid you are...I almost want to cry but I dont want to give you that satisfaction...why love someone when they only hurt you in the end? Fuck that!

Damn if you only knew the pain I'm going through right now. I feel like God has left me. I feel alone. They tell me to be strong and to pray about it. Yeah, that's SOOOOO easy to say, but to do it? I'd rather hate you. I'd rather be mad. I'd rather make you feel exactly how you make me feel. I'd rather be Terrence McSnilwar and walk on the dark side. Love, FUCK LOVE! Love has done nothing but hurt me ALL MY FUCKING LIFE SO FUCK IT and GOOD BYE!

What's been up in the world of ViN Rawli

Howwwwwwdyy Ya'll! I hope all is well with you! I've been ok...goin through some things but God is able. Looks like my muzik is finally picking up, I'm working with TWO artists! Well, for the first artist, my role is the producer/songwriter/vocal arranger. And for the second one, I'm still talking to him, seeing what we shall do. But yeah I'm really excited about the first song, it's almost done and it's gonna have ALOTTA exposure, so I'm really happy about it. Plus the money will be well spent hahaha Wild Wings for everyone!!

Living your dreams....good stuff =] I never did right my "Dream" blog so I guess this is it. My Pastor last night (I love him to death) told me that I possess alotta skills and talents from God. Thinking about it, my uutility belt has grown recently. I'm a singer/rapper. I'm a producer and songwriter. I'm an artist that can draw in graphite, charcoal and learning to paint. I'm a graphic artist and now a photographer! HAHAHA One thing I've learned, and I'm not the first to say it, is you gotta find ways to make money by doing the things you are good at and the things you love. That's the American dream 'in'it? LOL Peace!

Comment problem fixed

Ok so now you can post comments on my other blog, The Newest Gym Rat lol

New Muzik and New Passion

It's been a minute since I wrote my last blog! I think I'll try to write more often. SCAD is gonna be a piece of cake this quarter.....hopefully lol I already have lots of funny stories to tell but very little time to tell them (I gotta get dressed for church in a second). But I just wanted to talk about a few things like new muzik and my new passion.

I've been working on a side project with a pretty cool artist. I can't really tell you the details just yet because this thing is about to BLOW UP. I'm talking the leading single from an independent film soundtrack, radio play, maybe even a muzik video! How did I manage to accomplish this you ask? Prayer. Prayer and dedication. This could be IT, ya know? I'm ready for it, shoot I needs my money LOL

And my new passion in life is bodybuilding. In fact I created a new blog called The Newest Gym Rat. The blog is still in process, so if you visit it, you wont find much. I LOVE going to the gym now. There's something bout the sore feeling your muscles get after a long work out. It hurts so good lol But yeah, my life has changed over the last week. I've been exercising regularly and vigioursly. I've also been eating right. I havent tasted fast food and/or sweets in a week and I plan to keep that way. Ya know, we can prevent a lot of the diseases and conditions that plague the black community. When I die, I want it to be from something unavoidable, not my greedy self eating it up and geting fatter and fatter until I can't go exercise at all.

So yeah, watch out for my new muzik coming soon with my artist AND I encouarge ALL OF YOU to start exercising if you dont already. Take a walk everyday, ride a bike, do something.

Peace.

Chris Brown vs Rihanna Video Footage?

Ive been meaning to post this for the LONGEST lol When I first saw it I couldnt stop laughing!!



LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get Ur Freak On

These are some shoes I painted at SCAD. It's to the song by Missy Elliott, Get Ur Freak On LMAO It was a fun assignment but I'm glad it's over. What do you think of them? You want a pair right? lol

International Muzik for a Future Album?

Hey ya'll, still not fully back yet lol I been thinking bout MUZIKKKKKKK lol

My Discography

• Love Letters
• The Introspection of ViN
• The Embassy

Most of you know bout the first two albums but The Embassy is probally new. The Embassy is like my 'international' album. It's for everybody. It's gonna be EPIC. I want music from ALL OVER THE WORLD laced with a hip hop vibe. I'm talkin Swedish, Ethiopian, Australian, Chinese, Japense, Icelandic, German, etc.

If by then I'm famous *pause for laughter* I want some big INTERNATIONAL names on there. Names like M.I.A., Bjork, K'naan, Yo Yo Ma and Bob Marley. YES Bob Marley, maybe I'll sample the legend. Like I said, it's gonna be EPIC.

But as for now, I got new muzik coming soon. UGHH I can't wait for Spring Break so I can RECORD AGAIN lol

Stay tuned.......................................

Terry Rawlins Spotted on the Corner Spitting that Fire..........

Terry Rawlins, the artist also known as ViN Rawli, was spotted AGAIN today on the corner spitting that hot ish amongst a group of people. We managed to get in writing what the "Bliss" artist had to say:

Trigger Mike got me hip to the Blogger
I left Myspace, hopped across like Frogger
Jumped Ship like the Brothers called Lawrence
and changed platforms cause "I'm so importance"

The illiterate "literary master"
Wrecks up your set like a natural disaster
Yeah talk about changin platforms
Like Super Mario, side-scrolling through my Black Storm

And GMoney is a beast
The only nucca I know who can go West but end East
ViN Rawli bout to rise like yeast
Cause I'm about my bread so nucca lets eat

Zayyyvier, Reefa and Shyne?
Yall dont wanna battle cause my people on the grind
All the time. The zones are all mine.
Quarter to three? No, ten after nine.
Nucca!

Unfortunately we were not able to get an interview with the man. He keeps popping up like spam in the system and we can't get rid of him.

Editor's Note: All these sightings must mean one thing.....

More Terry Rawlins Sightings.....

HAHAHA wow another blog post from yours truly? Yeah...I'm in class thinkin bout life....and goin to the gym at 230ish.....and what I'm gonna eat lol But fo real though, gotta get right for the summer considering I'm tagging along on my lil bro's Senior Trip down the street to the beach lol ALL I KNOW IS I dont wanna be lookin like no beached whale or Britney Spears performing Gimme More at the VMAs that year.....(shout out to Brit Brit by the way, we see you guuu'l).

The return? It's comin soon, you'll see ;) Alotta changes are coming so be on the look out. Waiting for ViN Rawli's return is like waiting for Santa Claus AFTER they officially changed the date of Christmas and didnt inform nobody. In other words, you wont know when the hell I'm comin back lol Just stay tuned.





***SPOILER***
I will have a new song too! And some other 'new' things. Peace

The Return of the Jedi formally known as Terry Rawlins?

Well not exactly....LOL What's good friends, fans and haters? It's been tooooo long since I posted a blog. This isn't the offical 'REOPENING' or nothing. This is the press conference before all that ish. Picture me in my big ol' chinchilla coat via Designs by Cruella (DeVille) and my big ol' stunna shades by E40. "Life's been rough...and like Chris Brown, I too have found the Lord and am seeking the support of the church and blahblahblah yaddi yoda yodelay-hee-hoo." Something interesting happened to me today. Every now and then God blesses me with a gift, a power, a mutation. Like for a while I would have precognitive thoughts (look it up) like ESP and ish. TODAY I think he gave me the gift of exorcism.....LMFAO! ok ok STOP laughing nucca! It's more like the exorcism of machines and ish. Ex. Laptops (damn ghosts in the systems). But anyways, as some of you know, my old laptop went KA-PUT like a year ago. But for some reason today....idk, I felt like testing it out. And what do ya know? The things started running. Im over here gettin all excited and ish. Then it came to the login and I'm gettin really hyphy (Shout out to E40, thanks for the stunnas). And guess what? It wouldnt let me login! LOL Yeah as my brother GMoney once said 'Yeah...this aint one of them types of stories.' But before you say "FAIL!" like I know most of you are about to do, I decided that I AINT GON HAVE THAT. So I called on the name of JESUS, ha, and I stopped worryin about it, ha, I figured, LORD? ha LORRRRD? ha You allowed Jesus, ha to raise Lazurus from the dead, ha, Oh come on yall, yall dont wanna have chuuuch up in herrre, ha! He raiiiised Lazurus, ha, yall know the story!!! So surely, ha, SURRRELY, ha, he can gimme the strength, ha to bring this computer, ha, back to life ha, Can I get a witness??? If you love him lemme hear you say YEAHHH! ha If you love him lemme hear you say HALLELUJAHH!! ha Aint he alrite? Ahhhhhh!

*reporters staring at me with a blank face in the conference room as I catch the Holy Ghost and dance to the unheard music*

......yeahhhh....so we back from commercial break. Expect the 'return' really soon. I won't give you a date cause then people will hold me to it and I really don't feel like cursing you out SO yeah, stay tuned. I love ya! Peace.

-ViN Rawli/Terrence McSnilwar

I can't do this anymore

I need space. I need to breathe. I'm not gonna be writing this blog anymore, well at least not for a while. Maybe another blog, maybe...I got my reasons. TOO MANY reasons. Who knows, maybe I'll be gone for a day. Maybe I'll be gone for 100 days. WHO KNOWS....Bye.

NEW ISH

So yeah I been thinkin all day and I decided that Imma remodel my blog. Ya know, give it a new look. Right now I'm on design number two, which aint bad. But I think I should make somethin more like my personality [aka photoshop that ish!] LOL I think I got a good IDEA of what I WANT to do. Its just a matter of doing it.

Beastin'

I drop bars but dont make the mistake
I aint the poor nicca in the showers bout to get raped
I murk yall in your own court
This aint even rappin but I'm beastin in YOUR sport

Surprise! Bet you aint seen it comin
Like a delayed orgasm, I confuse and then sumthin
I got what you wantin and then sumthin
Way after the show ya'll still humpin

Gat dog, I be killin you poodles
Couldnt afford Chinese so I'm cookin me some Ramen Noodles
I throw rocks cause I keep em in stock
Come prepared cause I leave you shocked, and ya folks watch

Papa-Razzi, Mama Yahtzee
Anyway I spell it you niccas cant stop me
I get star struck and don't give a f***
So you wish upon me and think I give luck

Sleep Sleep

They don't know where the hell you are, your head ain't clearin out
You're dead as a cell-u-lar, like 'can you hear me now?'
That's how I feel on a Monday better yet on a Sunday
Better yet, always, I'm just praying that one day

I can feel like I'm awake cause I am a big sleeper
I wanna met your big cousin whose father's the Grimm Reaper
I don't really care, it seems pointless in the end
Unless we reincarnate and start this ish again

Supa Villain

Supa Villain, not to be confused with the unreleased song that I've been workin on for like 87 years now LOL

Sometimes....I wanna just be BAD. Giving a damn about stuff that dont give a damn about me just aint workin for me right now. I wanna be my alter ego, Terrence Maestrodomus McSnilwar, most powerful conductor of musical mayhem in all the universe (LOL). But fo real though, bein good is messed up sometimes. Yeah bein bad has its problems too (like goin to jail, getting killed etc) but at least the bad guy can say he did exactly what he wanted to do when he dies.

I just hate bein the only sensible person around me. Sometimes I feel all alone. Sometimes I feel like no one understands me. I hate everthing right now, everything is just too much, its annoying. Maybe I should go blow something up. Maybe that will make me feel better.

Whats your occupation?

Imma Soundscaper, soon to be high roller
Imma take over the radio, call me the air traffic controller
Killin em softly like shhhh! Im goin bounty huntin
And Im always on target like can I help you find somethin?

Yo! That was so sick but I am not a doctor
Nor a physician, nor mathematician, part time magician
Presto chango yo lango when you comin at me
Maybe I'll be your friend, give you a tip, when I see you workin at Zaxby's

Whats your occupation?

It's Kinda Nice....

Wow it's a beautiful sight seein all my friends, well most of them, doin their blog thang. I hope we can keep this up and continue commenting each others thoughts. It feels kinda good =]

After a looooong day at school, with a dead cell phone and a headache, Im about to drive to Beaufort to get my dad >=[ but I'll be iight. Im just lookin forward to Wild Wings later on, Im starving lol

Remind me to do a blog about DREAMS later, if I forget. Laterz

Oh ISH!!!!

Playas aint so sure about me, I guess we can call them Doubtin Thomas
Im the future of muzik, you can call me MaestroDomus
Yeah I spit that fire like a dragon and Im not a rapper
Yeah I shit that fire, you can call me Supa Crapper

The Umpire of this Empire and I strike back
The supplier of them beats, you know you like that
And Im wired like a robot but I got my own brain
A machine factory but I aint on that clone game

Yall niccas so lame, dancin, snappin, autotune
But I got my own thang that none of you motherfathers do
So busy tryna be others, tryna fit in, all the same
But I got my own name, V-I-N, you know what Im sayin

You can get mad, I dont really care cause Im the winner
Yeah, you so bad, we can have beef, its whats for dinner
And Im always hungry, I hope you got some stuffing in you
Oh wait I think remember picking you off the Dollar Menu
Nucca!

Confrontation

Confrontation. I hate confrontations. But they dont all have to end badly right? IDK, lately my mind....its been off. Im so confused. I need help. I hate confrontations but people always wanna pick a fight with me. Well you know what? I DONT GOT TIME FOR IT! So just back the hell off and lower your voice when you talk to me! I hate when people try to run all up and down me. I hate when people judge me. Forget yall! I got better things to do, like take my pills (Prozac). My mind is melting down and I DEFINTELY dont need it from you right now. And DONT try to apologize right now cause you outta line. GOODNITE!

Music Update

AYOOOOOO! I'm excited bout a few new projects that I'm working on. The next release on iTunes will showcase more of my musical talents in multiple genres. They include the rockin' sounds of For You, the piano-pop club bangin LIFE, and the auto-tuned diss track YodelBoxx. Three strong solid tracks that reveal my talents as a producer AND an MC. Ya'll might have known I could rap but I rather be credited with, well the CREDITS, the writing parts. I'm a writer, always have been, always will be. I love writing rhymes. Its fun. Love whatchu do, no matter what it is. Thats the only way to find happiness.

Speakin of that, my mood swings Ive been having lately....they come and go. Its so weird. Maybe its cause school is whoopin my behind. Maybe its cause I'm broke as a joke. OR maybe its cause Im hiding a secret thats eating away at me...Or maybe its all of the above. It doesnt feel good, I dont feel good. Failing grades, not having enough money for a McChicken, not living MY life because Im afraid of what they people may say....its a tough battle. AND Im prego remember?? LOL Just wanted to make you smile.

But yeah keep checking for my new music. Go to www.SoundClick.com/ViNRawliMuzik

Musical Vision

I got so many ideas when it comes to music. I love hybrid music, I love crossing genres, crossing boundaries and stuff. If done right, it sounds amazing. I wanna eventually do an album of covers. Here's some of the songs I wanna do (in no particular order):

1. Is This Love? and/or We Jammin' by Bob Marley
2. When Dove's Cry by Prince
3. Cherish the Day and/or No Ordinary Love by Sade

Thats all I got for now lmao

I swear I'm hot and cold

Lately....idk whats been up with me. I keep having these mood swings. Depression, rage, random happiness, its all so confusing. I think.....I'm pregnant. It's kinda scary LMAO Naw but for real, something is definitely wrong with me...I just wish I knew what that something was...

Cherish the Day

Cherish the Day by Sade

You're ruling the way that I move
And I breathe your air
You only can rescue me
This is my prayer
If you were mine
If you were mine
I wouldn't want to go to heaven

I cherish the day
I won't go astray
I won't be afraid
You won't catch me running
You're ruling the way that I move
You take my air

You show me how deep love can be

Depression

I feel depression like an unwanted question
I answer peacefully, such a warm expression
I hide my feelings cause theyre not appealing
Beautiful liar or the ugly truth, see what I'm dealin

With, its complex like the matrix
My mind is spinning like tornado sex
I guess I'm feeling like you disrespect
Me, but see I deal with it and I regret.....

Wow....I feel INSPIRED

I just got back from seeing Notorious and I must say, I enjoyed the film. I feel inspired more than ever cause as ya'll know, I do music. I feel anxious now, like I'm waiting for something...I don't wanna have beef with no one. I can see/feel one brewing already though. It's amazing how the 'industry' can change people. Or do we give the industry too much credit? HA I'm already talkin about beef and NEITHER of us made it yet. But yeah, I got ish to do and I'm coming harder than ever. Stay tuned =]

Goodbye

Goodbye
Written by Terry Rawlins

All this back and forth (Bullish)
Why you wanna leave me be? (Call it quits)
Then you wanna be with me (by 6)
Then you wanna leave me be (You're a trick)

Its confusing, losing all sense of reality
Finish me off (UGH) use a fatality
I'm mortal and we combat like drumsticks and hihats
I want L-O-V-E but money can't buy that

Daggit, mother...sucker luck gets you nowhere
I don't care, wish I never, Why did I go there?
whoa there, slow me down and please bring me no tears
Chauffeur me on to the greens and the cornbread

Hoes fare, I shoulda known trust ain't a given
It's more like a result of a tax put on living
Always fine print bullish always hidden
But now I ended our lease so buh-bye and good riddens

All this back and forth (Bullish)
Why you wanna leave me be? (Call it quits)
Then you wanna be with me (by 6)
Then you wanna leave me be (You're a trick)

I gave my heart so I guess I am a donor
You aint gave a (what??) so I guess I was a loner
Boners come boners go like the fishes
Fish in the sea, take it from me, delicious

Vicious, kill me off from malnutrition
Darker than a cat, no I'm not superstitious
But my wish is for you to stop breaking all the mirrors
And the ladders gotta go, am I speaking clearer?

Love is a game and you're the highest bidder
My heart is the prize and its in your kitty litter
Donor? Ha! More like a victim
Forgetcha? Trick say what? I am bitter

Random BlahBlahBlahs Pt. 2

My eyes are half closed as I type this. I need sleep but I just can't seem to force myself to start the 'sleep process.' I got school in the morning....don't remind me. I love art school don't get me wrong. It's just tooooooo damn expensive. It's one thing for the tuition to be outrageous, cause I'll be payin back these loans. But unlike regular college students I gotta buy overpriced books AND art supplies. It's hard not having a job but it would be even harder having a job. I need money cause this ain't working out.

I just want to go to sleep for a verrrry loooooong time...........and then wake up and everything will be perfect. But of course...

Bush f***ed this economy up. I don't care what nobody says. This war is so STUPID. WTF are we spending money on?? I feel blessed to be able to witness history. President Barak Obama. WOW.

I hate feeling ignored. That's how I feel right now. Ignorned and forgotten and it doesn't feel too good. I keep having these dreams....just dreams about someone special to me. And its getting kinda annoying. A constant reminder of stuff I dont want to talk about. I need a Dreamcatcher or somethin cause this ish ain't workin out. I mean why should I give a damn about someone who doesnt give a damn about me? Ya know?

I...........need sleep.....zzZ

Dreamcatcher

"Dreamed of you this morning,
Then came the dawn and ,
I thought that you were here with me,
If you could only see how much I loved you,
You'd wanna trust me
Oh in my dreams I was loving you
Every place that you wanted me to
Since I've been having dreams and fantasies baby
I'd like to make love to you right here baby...."

-Excerpt from Soon I'll Be Loving You Again by Marvin Gaye. Also the sample used in Jay-Z's American Dreamin'

My dreams lately have been similar to this and it's killing me. I DON'T WANT TO THINK OF YOU! I think Imma write a song called Dreamcatcher and talk about being haunted in my dreams by my past loves....stay tuned....

New Day

Good Morning! I woke up feeling fresh and that's not normal for me. Usually when I wake up, I'm still tired LOL But not today. I don't know what it is...

Love Letters is comin along pretty good. I woulda been recording vocals all last week but I was sick and my voice was SHOT. So now that I'm better, I'll be prepping this new single and it's B-Side.

I had a dream last night about someone and it's kinda weird...lol Imma have to call my shrink aka Dr. Shanae Jackson to see what she thinks.

Got school today and I'm ready for it. I'm taking an art histroy type course and at first I thought it was boring as hell but now that I'm into and paying even clsoer attention and reading it more, its actually pretty interesting. The key is staying on top of the work/reading.

I found one of my long lost friends. I need to chill with her sometime. Maybe she can do my hair and we'll watch Madea and then go get some Chinese food LMAO

Alrite, I gotta get dressed. BUH BYE

Bullet Proof Soul

"You keep on thinking
You were the only one
Too busy thinking
Love is a gun

I know the end before
The story's been told
It's not that complicated
But you're gonna need a bullet proof soul"

-Sade, Bullet Proof Soul

Me and my brother Gerald grew up listening to Sade but NEVER have I felt her lyrics this strongly. She's great. All of her music is great. I'm a fan of music, a music lover. I'm not the typical negro, that's why I'm goin emo LOL!

Seriously...

Untitled

I had sucha fun time tonite at Wild Wings with my peoples. It was a good distraction from SCHOOL. Ive been sick all week so ya know =[ BUY MY SONG ON iTUNES and MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!!! Search for ViN Rawli.

I hopelessly stare at you. Hoping....waiting....thinking "just maybe"....Naw, it'll never work, hell it can't work out.

Why do people stop talking to one another? I lost two friends recently. One wasn't my fault and the other, well, that technically wasn't my fault either. But I didn't have to react the way I did. But I mean, you would get mad too if you constantly TRY to be someone's friend and they don't even care or give nothing back to the so-called-relationship. UGH I'm tired of feeling neglected and unappreciated. If you never felt this way before, let me tell you, it's not a good feeling. My feelings get hurt too you know.

I know I said I was leaving alotta stuff in 2008 but dag it's hard letting go sometimes.

Especially when I don't wanna give you up.

Unbelievable

Unbelievable
Written by Terry Rawlins

Ur so unbelievable and now im unavailable
Heard you wanna talk now, well letters are mailable
I use to have time to be waiting for a reply
Now im movin on, broken heart but you see, I

Wont be down for long, I wont be singing sad songs
Wont catch me crying, think I'm sad? Then ur mad wrong
Well, maybe just a tad bit
Oh now you wanna talk? Please you can have it

Yeah its real sad when you think about our past
I fell in love with a moment and expected it to last
Dying from that fairy tale syndrome
That happily ever after after ever happy symptom

Its called Bliss, haha, ignit as they come
Some would say im dumb but I say its cuz im young
Love, not a noun its a verb
But hey then again love is sucha strong word

I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! UGGGHHHHHHHH!

I hate this feeling that I'm having right now. I feel sick. I feel hungry. I feel lonely. I feel tired. I feel, well BAD. And it's because of you. WHYYYYYY!? How can I be so stupid to fall for you over and over and over again? Cause you make my record skip. I need to get off of you. I'm going to rehab later today. Peace.

Complicated

Ugh I got so much I want to write and so much I wanna say. I pray that I'll be able to pen it just right. I wanna capture that earth shattering feeling. That tear jerking effect.