Leaving 2008 Behind and Looking Forward to 2009 Pt I

Wow 2008 flew by! Its so crazy, and this year wll flyby too. Soon I'll be an old man lol Personally 2008 wasn't one of my best. I went through alotta bad times and I don't think I healed from it yet. But right now I'm celebrating a new beginning. And to start the year off I'm going to say goodbye to History.

Heartless
It's so crazy, because at one point I considered you to be my second best friend. I gave you so much and never ever asked you for nothing. But you didn't care. That's why I'm calling you Heartless. After all I've done and everything we been through, you fired me. Yes. You fired me. You fired me from your life for stupid reasons. Only God knows why. But yes, you fired me and didn't care. But the real stupid thing is you continued to act like everything is fine and dandy. OH and much props on your Academy Award Winning phone call you gave me that night. I was so shocked that you actually tried to blame me for what ever reasons and THEN you tried to put me down. NEWS FLASH! You are not P. Diddy! You are such a diva! YOU NEED TO WAKE UP! I'm not even dissing you man. But you need to really check yourself. It really hurt my feelings when you told me I "wasn't good enough." I was like 'wow, my really close friend, the one I shared alotta stuff with, the one I could depend on, he is up here putting me down.' For a second I couldn't even recognize you. So we stopped talking. And after months and months I try to fix the situation. I don't know why because all you ever did was use me. Well guess what? In 2009, please don't call me for nothing. I will not be used by you anymore. I'm freeing myself and it feels good. Don't think of it as me being mean, just heartless, because that's exactly how you treat me. Goodbye.

Two-Face
For the last two years I did nothing but give great guest service and used my experience to benefit all. I was the best you had but when I applied for promotions you gave it to someone else. And not just anyone else, oh no, you gave it to people that had little to NO EXPERIENCE at all!! Everytime I think of you I get sick. You smiled in my face. "You're a ROCKSTAR!" Right. But I gotta hustle for hours and I have no input in any matters. Some rockstar. Eventually I gave my two weeks notice so I could focus on school. When you found out I was quitting NONE OF YOU TALKED TO ME FOR A MONTH (those two weeks and then some). I thought it was strange, I at least thought you would want me to stay. So when I did come back YOU TOLD ME I COULDN'T. THAT was a slap in the face. I'm not brand enough? How you mean?! I was devastated but whatever. And now whenever I see you, I smile back and say hi, just as fake and as two-faced as you, cause on the inside, my alter ego is screaming and thrashing about, wanting to say a few choice words. I have a feeling that me saying goodbye to you will be nearly impossible. So I won't say it. Terry just won't ever go back. But Terrence will. Don't talk to me or smile at me cause I will let you know about yourself.

M.I.A.
It's so hard saying goodbye to the love of my life. Yes, LOVE. I didn't really realize it until recently but I love you. That explains everything right? Right. So why am I saying goodbye? Because you are always M.I.A. When I first met you, when you introduced yourself to me, I felt something, a conncetion. And whenever I'm with you I feel it again. It's so strong and I feel that you feel it too. But M.I.A., baby I gotta tell you, I'm sick and tired of you disappearing on me! You know Enough was about you right? And my smash hit single Bliss (Available Now on iTunes) was as well. I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU ALL YEAR and now you wanna try to show the hell back up? I call you ten, twenty, eighty times. You can't return none of my calls? I make an EFFORT! I want it to work, I want US to work, and you may very well want the same. But it takes work. I can't do it all by myself. I love you but I hate loving someone that doesn't give a damn about me....so......*sigh and closes eyes* this is really really hard for me. Part of me is screaming LET YOU GO AND MOVE ON! But there's still this other side that's saying give you another chance. I'm so freaking confused....................Maybe if you stop goin all M.I.A. on me, maybe I won't say goodbye after all.

This concludes Part I of Leaving 2008 Behind and Looking Forward to 2009. Stay tuned for Part II!

Icebreaker

I wrote, well started writing a new song today. It's called Icebreaker. It [like the large majority of my work] is based on a true story. What drove me to write this song was an awkward moment I had today. I refused to become your victim, again.

Flashback.....it was awkward, looking back, for me to break the ice. I mean, we didn't even know each other. I didn't even know your name. But the way you kept looking at me, mmmmm, it gave me courage and the green light. I quickly got caught up. But soon as I spoke up, as soon as I show some interest in you, you wanna get detached, leaving me feeling....well, awkward. And so fast-forward to the present. Same ol, same ol from you. I wanna feel pressed but not this time. If you wanna talk, you know where to find me. So I ignored you. It felt good because I knew you was looking at me. I could feel you looking at me. It felt bad. I felt terrible because it's not like me to give someone the cold shoulder. I guess you taught me well, right?

Icebreaker, it might make the cut to Love Letters, IDK. WE SHALL SEE.

It's not fair

It's not fair that I'm your friend when you need something or when it's convenient for you. I hate how you operate. You think you're so slick, so smart, so the ish. But it's all good. Divas usually don't have too many friends anyway, and in your case I was it. It's not fair how I gave so much to you and never asked for nothing. And now you act as though you don't remember those good ol' times. But I guess I was the one who was stupid, choosing you over the people that truly matter. Ha, I'm laughing to myself cause if you ever read this, you probably wouldn't even know this was about you. Always the victim right? Why don't you take a look in the mirror and stop pointing your finger at everyone else. I hope you're blessed cause you left me with too much stress. I wanna say we're cool but honesty is key.

Hate

1. I hate it when people discriminate against other people.
2. I hate prejudice, racism, sexism, homophobia, come on this is the 21st Century after all.
3. I hate feeling used.
4. I hate that things turn out the way they do but what can I do to fix it?
5. I hate hate.
6. I hate loving someone who doesn't care.
7. I hate struggling.
8. I hate you but I don't mean it.
9. I hate being judged, misunderstood and persecuted.
10. I just hate how you don't want to understand.

Random BlahBlahBlahs

1. Things are kinda weird right now.
2. I am a hardworker.
3. I am a hardworker but it's so much easier for me to be lazy.
4. I can't keep denying the way I feel about you.
5. I am excited about my song being on iTunes.
6. I should be in jail.
7. I should be in Hell.
8. I give the best of me and all I get in return is heartache.
9. You have some nerve.
10. I wish I could make it better for you but I can't.

Get it Girl

What can I say? The broad is FIERCE!! LOL Shout out to the white girl dancing with her and much love to the live Go-Go Band playing.

Hey everyone! YES Bliss has been re-released on SoundClick. When you get a chance, please stop by and listen to it.

What's Goin on With ViN Rawli Muzik?
I got two rock songs I'm workin on and a few more gems for the album. I dont know if Im still gonna release it Summer 2009 or Fall. It all depends on how good a job my Team does in getting the word out. I'm also working on a brand new demo that I'm sending out hopefully SOON. More on that later. Well its recording time so Ill blog some more later!